Lucky me, today's my colonoscopy

I'd like to repost something I last posted in 2008.

To answer the questions that will arise from this post:

1. Yes, I really am having a colonoscopy today.
2. Yes, I am over 50. Bli ayin hara (warding off evil eyes).
3. No, Dad did not die from colorectal cancer, although he did have it at the age of 49.
4. Since I had my last colonoscopy, a friend who hadn't gotten around to getting a